The Savior of our Sanity

This is not a vacuum. This is the device that has single-handedly saved mine and Kristen's sanity.

Oh it cleans like a vacuum (ridiculously so - thank you James Dyson). But the real reason this beautiful machine is so amazing is that it can transform Liam from a screaming, wailing, inconsolable monster of rage into a quiet, peaceful, sleepy, lovely looking infant, usually in less than a minute.

Before Liam was born, I remember reading in one book anecdotal stories of parents who (usually by accident) discovered that the noise from a loud household appliance, such as a hair dryer or vacuum cleaner, could soothe their fussy infants. I remember thinking (and remarking to Kristen) that surely it wouldn't take something that loud to work on Liam.

Let's talk about decibel levels for a moment. Our dear friends Joel and Amber thoughtfully gave us a toy giraffe that has a speaker buried inside that produces four different kinds of white noise - it has a volume level around the same level as normal, conversational speech, say about 50-55 dB. By comparison, the average vacuum cleaner has a volume level of 80 dB. It turns out that your average screaming baby has a volume level of a whopping 110 dB - keep in mind that OSHA requires hearing protection in the workplace at sustained levels over 85 dB, and you can actually permanently lose hearing at sustained levels over 100 dB. So I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that it would take some pretty loud sustained noise to break through the powerful rage of a fussy infant.

The best part of this is when we tell people about running the vacuum continuously for hours, first to calm Liam and then to keep that little monster inside him soothed - people look at us like we've completely lost our minds, even experienced parents!! Clearly the power of white noise over an infant is not a universally understood phenomena.

So in closing I would like to address our vacuum. Vacuum (I really should name it), thank you, from the bottom of our hearts. We can never express to you the depth of our gratitude and love for being able to soothe and quiet our little Liam. And if I go and buy another vacuum as insurance in case you fail for some reason, know that while you may be replaced, you will always hold a special place in our heart.